Grace throws her harpoon off into the distance; it sticks in a grill. It's not a petulant gesture, she just wants her hand free so she can pull herself atop the display and sit on its bar. Her feet dangle (Siffleur may notice that her fingers and toes are red, as if blood has pooled in them and failed to flow).
~How do you know that?~
The harpoon returns at the end of her question; Grace catches it without looking.
"Because if I did not want to kill anymore, I would stop." Simple as that. Perhaps a little too simple, so he goes on, hoping that by talking, he can find what it is that Grace finds confusing - or what part of killing (or not killing) is difficult for her. "It is easier to do something you like, and hard to stop. Before the ship, I stopped now and then, but only because I had to lay low and not be noticed. And I have stopped killing this month because we were all very exhausted after being put in a maze, and I knew no one would play my game."
"Like all choices, there are things that push me in one way or another. I like to kill - I enjoy the fear of my prey, I like the taste of their flesh, their desperate struggles as they die. But I like to live privately and peacefully, so I must be careful when and how I kill, or I will not have either."
Grace lays her harpoon across her lap, and she looks...tired. So very tired. It makes sense, yes, she can follow the logic, but she's not sure it helps.
She's less sure she can bring herself to tell this strange cat-man the gnawing doubt she only barely expressed to Helena.
~I - do, like it. To hunt. It was my only pleasure for quite some time, but I suppose I face a similar series of choices. Only...~
Her sentence trails off. Eventually Grace makes a huffy, frustrated sound, proud and childish and quite infuriated, before tossing her harpoon away again without looking.
Fucking RIP to anyone shopping within 42 meters of this girl.
"Hmm." There's a lot unsaid. Helena had hinted that Grace would have trouble with words. Thankfully, he's used to that kind of thing, and so he lets her have her space to think and try - and when she grows frustrated, he offers words for her to agree or disagree with.
"Where I came from, I had to work and earn money to live when I was in my man-shape. One of the jobs I could reliably get was working at a meat packing plant. It was acceptable work - good pay, few questions, and I already knew how to butcher animals, though I had to use machines instead of my own strength. I didn't always hate that job. At times, I even liked it because I enjoyed the routine, even a few co-workers. But because I am also a cougar, it would wear me down, and in time, I would leave the job and everything I had built while living as a man. I had the choice to leave, because I had the ability to go elsewhere and live as another person. Then, when living alone tired me as well, I would return to human towns and start the cycle again."
He tips his head in her general direction. "I have always had the choice to stop - to stop hunting, to quit a job, to vanish. But you may not have. If this is your first time with that choice, or the first time in a very long time with that choice, frustration is inevitable. To choose is to experience, and experience allows you to make further choices. Do you have much experience being anything but a hunter employed in a manor?"
Grace shakes her head. These words are like Helena's, but...
Damn it to the Depths. Damn it all! She kicks a shirt off the rack and pouts, one arm over her knees. The other extends to catch her harpoon, which rather visibly phases through several obstacles to return to her.
~No. That is not the core of the - it - ~ That huffy sound again, full of rage; Grace's teeth bare in a mute snarl. ~You are not human. How do you know you can survive if you do not kill?~
That's closer. Something on the edge of her deep anxiety.
Ahhh, now he gets it. The fear is deeper than just the worry of one who only knows to kill.
"I don't know that. I have always killed and eaten the flesh of others, and when I feel the craving to kill, it is a mental craving only. But if you wanted to learn if you must kill, this is the place to do it." He licks his right paw and uses it to wash his ears and the top of his head. "We have a few people here who need to kill, or do something similar, to live. Those people found out they had to because they begin to starve and waste away. With one, they begin to grow thinner, hungrier looking. With the other, they grow angrier, more prone to fights, more apt to listen to the voice in their head."
Another lick, another rub. "To start, write down everything you see and feel about yourself. Then in a week's time, check the list. Do it again in two, and three, and four, and so on. If there are no changes, then you do not need to kill to survive, you simply like it. But if you do change - if your colour shifts, if you grow thinner, if your eyes sink further, if you feel your mood change to angry - or to tired... then you do need to kill to survive, and you will need to find those on the ship willing to be hunted, in exchange for something in return."
~...There may be...a practical obstacle, in that I can only barely read and write at this time. My poet...she somehow cajoled a Novelist we knew into giving me lessons, but I arrived far before they were complete. I have been hoping that perhaps she might find me a new teacher, but we've yet to discuss it.~
More like Grace has been too afraid to ask, in case it is the final straw of their fragile friendship.
"Hmm. I see. In that case, wait here a moment. I have a solution for you."
Siffleur pads away, heading to one of his lairs. He has to transform while he's there, just to be sure that the SD card inside the camera isn't his precious one that can't be shared. Then he changes back, and makes his way back over, this time carrying his Go-Pro.
He comes near Grace and sets it down. "This is a video camera. It can record you. It's mean to be worn on the head, but you can set it on a surface and film yourself. Then, you can watch the videos back on the screen on the back. I will lend you this, and you can return it once you have learned to read and write."
There, a solution for now - and some incentive to learn to read and write, as he will expect it's return.
"Why not? You are in need, and I have the solution. I am not using this camera right now, so I lose nothing by letting you use it. You can learn more about yourself, and in time, you may be able to help someone else in need in a similar way."
He looks around at the space around them - not just the store, but the ship itself. "We are all trapped here. When I arrived, it was chaos, and I did not notice, because I came from chaos. But now that I have lived here longer, I have grown to like this place best when we live comfortably and peacefully. I hope you will feel the same in time, Grace. It is good to live honestly with people who see you as you are, and who embrace you."
~It seems a difficult thing, when I do not know myself as I am. But your kindness will be returned, one day. I am not so savage a thing as to not know that.~
Grace slips down from the display, peering at the camera with her face mere inches from it. The device is fascinating, but she does have a relevant question. It feels silly to ask, and her bubble voice bears that silliness out: ~This will not transport myself or others into another world, yes?~
"Then you will learn about yourself while you are here. This is a place to do a great deal of nothing but learn, if you want to." You can choose to unlearn things or to get worse, as Siffleur has seen some certain human trainwrecks choose to do.
Her question isn't as silly as she might think it is. This is a weird place - he shares space with two native apex predators, one which is made entirely of clothes, and the other which is a very hungry piano. "It will not transport you or anyone into another world. It has no magical properties that I am aware of. It uses an SD card to capture the video digitally rather than on a tape. You press the record button to record, and the stop button to stop recording. Then you can press the display button and you can watch back what you've recorded by pressing the play button. It is very easy to use, and you cannot record over yourself by accident, which is very useful."
~I presume I should avoid getting it wet. That arrogant Photographer was forever shooing me away from his equipment, understanding nothing and claiming to understand much. At least the other Frenchman had the courtesy to die for me.~ That mute snarl again, this time at old memories. Grace picks up the camera with great delicacy and places it in her fishing basket, next to her phone, where it will be safe.
Fun fact, she's not sure what the French are either, only that she knew two Frenchmen and disliked both of them.
~There is...an unrelated matter, for which your name has been mentioned to me. Delicate, if less personal.~
"Please do. It will break if you get it wet, and then neither of us will be able to watch our videos back." He would be very upset, but he is willing to take the risk anyway. After all, even if he can't hear her voice again, he knows she is safe in his mind. His hatred for the French doesn't register with him. After all, in the provinces he spend his time in, most people there liked to make fun of the French.
His ears flick a little at the second item. "Oh? Go ahead."
Grace can't blush, but the naked awkwardness on her face does the same job. ~My roommate, Valdis, will require privacy for marital relations at times. She named you as one who might be able to room me during those evenings.~
That gets a chuckle from him. A simple enough question, though he can understand why she's shy to bring it up. "You are always welcome here. This place is infinite, and goes on in every direction without end. I have a few dens here and there, and I know where there is a couch if you would like to sleep on something more like a bed. But you are welcome to stay anywhere you like here, anytime you like."
He crosses his paws. "I do sometimes have sex here, so if you text me when you will be staying, I will keep it in a further off area so you don't stumble over us."
Siffleur just lets Grace express her rage, waiting safely out of range as she trashes one of the displays. It's an understandable anger. After all, this is why he lives here instead of trying to share a small room with Daisy.
He waits for her to finish wrecking things to feel better before he makes a suggestion. "The ship is large, and some places do not seem to be used often. You could explore and find a place to make your own, to have some privacy there as I did with this store. But unfortunately, this place runs on suffering and fear, and so it likes to make things difficult for us. We have to find our privacy in other ways."
~Someone will suffer for this. I will find a way.~ The harpoon returns, and Grace catches it without looking. She's still mad. ~...I hope you do not take insult if I consider this a last resort.~
"I do not consider it an insult of any kind. You are a person, and when I sleep here, I am an animal. What suits me does not always suit you." Siffleur assures Grace. "I wish you luck in finding better options. I know many people have friends who will let them stay the night. Or perhaps you will stay out those nights and sleep during the day when you have peace."
~Mm. I suspect we will meet again, Mister Siffleur. I need to return to this place to acquire clothes soon, but I think I will...begin the project you have proposed. If there is anything you need, I am in cabin one hundred and five for the foreseeable future.~
"Of course. Visit anytime you like. Or send a voice memo on the phone. If you press the microphone and speak, it will record you and you can send that instead." He gives her a nod, and then lets Grace slip away.
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Date: 2023-06-08 05:58 am (UTC)Grace throws her harpoon off into the distance; it sticks in a grill. It's not a petulant gesture, she just wants her hand free so she can pull herself atop the display and sit on its bar. Her feet dangle (Siffleur may notice that her fingers and toes are red, as if blood has pooled in them and failed to flow).
~How do you know that?~
The harpoon returns at the end of her question; Grace catches it without looking.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 07:10 am (UTC)"Like all choices, there are things that push me in one way or another. I like to kill - I enjoy the fear of my prey, I like the taste of their flesh, their desperate struggles as they die. But I like to live privately and peacefully, so I must be careful when and how I kill, or I will not have either."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 08:50 am (UTC)She's less sure she can bring herself to tell this strange cat-man the gnawing doubt she only barely expressed to Helena.
~I - do, like it. To hunt. It was my only pleasure for quite some time, but I suppose I face a similar series of choices. Only...~
Her sentence trails off. Eventually Grace makes a huffy, frustrated sound, proud and childish and quite infuriated, before tossing her harpoon away again without looking.
Fucking RIP to anyone shopping within 42 meters of this girl.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 03:05 pm (UTC)"Where I came from, I had to work and earn money to live when I was in my man-shape. One of the jobs I could reliably get was working at a meat packing plant. It was acceptable work - good pay, few questions, and I already knew how to butcher animals, though I had to use machines instead of my own strength. I didn't always hate that job. At times, I even liked it because I enjoyed the routine, even a few co-workers. But because I am also a cougar, it would wear me down, and in time, I would leave the job and everything I had built while living as a man. I had the choice to leave, because I had the ability to go elsewhere and live as another person. Then, when living alone tired me as well, I would return to human towns and start the cycle again."
He tips his head in her general direction. "I have always had the choice to stop - to stop hunting, to quit a job, to vanish. But you may not have. If this is your first time with that choice, or the first time in a very long time with that choice, frustration is inevitable. To choose is to experience, and experience allows you to make further choices. Do you have much experience being anything but a hunter employed in a manor?"
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 05:59 pm (UTC)Damn it to the Depths. Damn it all! She kicks a shirt off the rack and pouts, one arm over her knees. The other extends to catch her harpoon, which rather visibly phases through several obstacles to return to her.
~No. That is not the core of the - it - ~ That huffy sound again, full of rage; Grace's teeth bare in a mute snarl. ~You are not human. How do you know you can survive if you do not kill?~
That's closer. Something on the edge of her deep anxiety.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 06:08 pm (UTC)"I don't know that. I have always killed and eaten the flesh of others, and when I feel the craving to kill, it is a mental craving only. But if you wanted to learn if you must kill, this is the place to do it." He licks his right paw and uses it to wash his ears and the top of his head. "We have a few people here who need to kill, or do something similar, to live. Those people found out they had to because they begin to starve and waste away. With one, they begin to grow thinner, hungrier looking. With the other, they grow angrier, more prone to fights, more apt to listen to the voice in their head."
Another lick, another rub. "To start, write down everything you see and feel about yourself. Then in a week's time, check the list. Do it again in two, and three, and four, and so on. If there are no changes, then you do not need to kill to survive, you simply like it. But if you do change - if your colour shifts, if you grow thinner, if your eyes sink further, if you feel your mood change to angry - or to tired... then you do need to kill to survive, and you will need to find those on the ship willing to be hunted, in exchange for something in return."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 06:17 pm (UTC)More like Grace has been too afraid to ask, in case it is the final straw of their fragile friendship.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 06:27 pm (UTC)Siffleur pads away, heading to one of his lairs. He has to transform while he's there, just to be sure that the SD card inside the camera isn't his precious one that can't be shared. Then he changes back, and makes his way back over, this time carrying his Go-Pro.
He comes near Grace and sets it down. "This is a video camera. It can record you. It's mean to be worn on the head, but you can set it on a surface and film yourself. Then, you can watch the videos back on the screen on the back. I will lend you this, and you can return it once you have learned to read and write."
There, a solution for now - and some incentive to learn to read and write, as he will expect it's return.
Damn Canon Characters And Their One-Liners
Date: 2023-06-08 07:06 pm (UTC)A tag is a tag!!
Date: 2023-06-08 07:14 pm (UTC)He looks around at the space around them - not just the store, but the ship itself. "We are all trapped here. When I arrived, it was chaos, and I did not notice, because I came from chaos. But now that I have lived here longer, I have grown to like this place best when we live comfortably and peacefully. I hope you will feel the same in time, Grace. It is good to live honestly with people who see you as you are, and who embrace you."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 08:13 pm (UTC)Grace slips down from the display, peering at the camera with her face mere inches from it. The device is fascinating, but she does have a relevant question. It feels silly to ask, and her bubble voice bears that silliness out: ~This will not transport myself or others into another world, yes?~
no subject
Date: 2023-06-08 09:34 pm (UTC)Her question isn't as silly as she might think it is. This is a weird place - he shares space with two native apex predators, one which is made entirely of clothes, and the other which is a very hungry piano. "It will not transport you or anyone into another world. It has no magical properties that I am aware of. It uses an SD card to capture the video digitally rather than on a tape. You press the record button to record, and the stop button to stop recording. Then you can press the display button and you can watch back what you've recorded by pressing the play button. It is very easy to use, and you cannot record over yourself by accident, which is very useful."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-09 06:16 am (UTC)Fun fact, she's not sure what the French are either, only that she knew two Frenchmen and disliked both of them.
~There is...an unrelated matter, for which your name has been mentioned to me. Delicate, if less personal.~
no subject
Date: 2023-06-09 07:43 am (UTC)His ears flick a little at the second item. "Oh? Go ahead."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-09 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-09 11:17 pm (UTC)He crosses his paws. "I do sometimes have sex here, so if you text me when you will be staying, I will keep it in a further off area so you don't stumble over us."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-10 03:51 am (UTC)She stabs the harpoon into the floor, where it definitely shouldn't stick but absolutely does.
This is so she has both hands free to throw a display over and throw as much of a tantrum as she can in the next ten seconds. She's good at it by now.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-10 06:45 am (UTC)He waits for her to finish wrecking things to feel better before he makes a suggestion. "The ship is large, and some places do not seem to be used often. You could explore and find a place to make your own, to have some privacy there as I did with this store. But unfortunately, this place runs on suffering and fear, and so it likes to make things difficult for us. We have to find our privacy in other ways."
no subject
Date: 2023-06-10 06:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2023-06-10 07:00 am (UTC)Wrap?
Date: 2023-06-11 04:33 am (UTC)Wrap!
Date: 2023-06-13 02:02 am (UTC)